How Do I Get My Kids Not To Call Him Mom/Mother?
My ex-husband is transitioning from man to "woman" and my kids (19 and 16) are very supportive.
They use they/them pronouns and I did too so as not to offend. But, as is the way with my ex-husband, that wasn't good enough. Now, he wants them to use she/her pronouns AND call him MOTHER!! This is where I draw the line.
Some background: He was very mean during our 10 year marriage. He had an explosive temper and made me cry at least once a week. Then, in the bedroom, wanted me to dress him up as a woman. I didn't want to, but he said if I loved him, I'd do it. It got more and more extreme, he got into forced feminization. I protested against it and he said I was being selfish and didn't love him for who he is. Eventually, I had to call it quits and our divorce was nasty. No one understood why I divorced him, and I didn't want to "out" him, but he had no problem spreading lies about me and alienating our three children. My oldest still doesn't speak to me.
So, you can see why it's hard for me to legitimize his fetish and use they/them pronouns. I am glad that other people are seeing this now and I'm finally free to tell my story. Most people are supportive since he hid this from me before our marriage. Other people think I'm transphobic, but omg, that marriage was not what I signed up for, it was a bait and switch.
Now, he wants to be called Mom/Mother and I object! He didn't carry them in the womb for 9 months, or nurse them for a year, or take care of them when they're sick, or pick them up early from school if they're sick. Why do men feel they can take everything from us??
It's even more disturbing to me because I know he gets off on this, but I can't tell my kids that!
How do I get my kids to not call him Mom/Mother?
- Anonymous
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