Women's Liberation Front

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From Women Who Thought They Were in the Wrong Body

“I did not think I was a girl, even though I was in a girls body. I mean, there was no way I could be...after all I didn't want to play with dolls.”


[Gender ideology] has harmed me personally because in 2018 after a mental breakdown, I tried to transition as a way to escape suicidal feelings. The doctors at my local clinic encouraged me to do it, even though they knew I was in the middle of a documented mental health crisis. They had me on several different psychiatric medications at the time, and when I decided I was transgender, they put me on testosterone as well. The first time I went there for my first injection of testosterone, they injected the entire bottle. It was supposed to be a fraction of that. The people running this clinic are totally incompetent.

Anyway, after about a year I realized transition was not going to help me. I stopped getting the injections. A short time after that, my 15 year old daughter came out as trans and the same doctor that treated me wanted to put her on testosterone after a 15 minute consult. That is when my eyes were fully opened to the opportunistic and unethical nature of these doctors. I didn't really care what they did to me, because I was suicidal anyway, and a full grown adult. But seeing them go after my daughter like that was another story.

I had to change my phone number to get them to stop harassing me. I have lingering issues, anxiety, depression, and mistrust of medical professionals after the way we were treated. My daughter is still angry with me for not signing the informed consent form on her behalf, but I know she is not fully informed, so I cannot ethically consent. I don't know what she will do when she's 18. Hopefully in the meantime she will do the research and find out the same thing I did. That transgender medicine is a money machine for unethical doctors.


As a child, I played in the dirt, mud and with Ninja turtles. I didn't play with dolls and had no interest in playing house. I rode my bike, and played on monkey bars until my hands calloused. I always found myself amongst boys. Girls would call me "boy" Because I wanted short hair. When girls did invite me to play house, I didn't want to play. That never interested me.


At the very young age of 5/6 years old, I was thinking and felt I was born in the wrong body. I did not think I was a girl, even though I was in a girls body. I mean, there was no way I could be...after all I didn't want to play with dolls.


I remember feeling somewhat blue, and not being able to process these complex feelings; I decided to go to my grandmother. I told her everything I just told you all. She sat me down and looked at me directly in the eyes and said, "ok but why can't girls like that too?"


That shifted me back in to reality, Because there was no reason why that was for boys only. Liking ninja turtles wasn't a boys only club liking dirt wasn't a boys only club. Building, math and science wasn't a boys only club--why can't girls like that?


Flash forward 30 some-odd years later, and I can't find "Tom Boys". As a matter of fact, I'm told they're secretly just "men" I'm told that those same toys and actions are indeed very manly, but not like the man in my bathroom who is wearing lipstick. That's far more woman than I'll ever be. I'm told that it's harassment if I ask him if he's lost. It's not harassment for him to take my language away. It's not harassment to take away my ability to define biological reality. It's not harassment for him to tell children that if they don't like gendered toys, that they're indeed "wrong".


I want to look at all of them in the eye and tell them, "well, why can't girls, or boys like that too?"


I, and other women have lost everything to gender, Because of our sex.


So when you ask how I've been IMPACTED? I say that I have to do this anonymously, Because girls are no longer allowed to like that too.