What I WiSH I KNEW

An entry for WoLF’s “Letters to Girls” Series

By J.W.

Dear girl,

I am an old-ish lady now, but once I was you. I remember being young like it was yesterday, and I can see so clearly now how much time I wasted worrying about the wrong things. I am writing to you now as a woman who no longer cares what people think. I just want to be happy with myself at this point, and believe it or not, it’s easy for me. In spite of my wrinkles, flab, creaky bones, achy joints, after all this time I am finally happy in my body. I want to share with you some of the things I have learned.

First, you are not a freak, not in the least. No matter what it is making you feel freaky, I promise you it’s part of what makes you special. Anyone making fun of you is just trying to do it before someone makes fun of them. They’re trying to throw the predators off the scent. They don’t really think you are freaky and in five years they won’t be able to remember why they made fun of you.

Secondly, everyone is too worried about themselves, and how people see them, to spend much effort thinking about anyone else. I know it seems like everyone is staring at your body, but most likely they are trying to find reasons to be ok about their own bodies.

Thirdly, it takes a strong person to stand against the herd. If all your friends are starting to do things that worry you, you don’t have to join them. It can be very hard to choose between your friends and your integrity, but stand strong. Be who you are. Don’t let anyone else tell you who you are or who you should be.

Lastly, I will tell you that it has been my life’s work to learn to feel at home in my body. It hasn’t been easy. But looking back at old photos I can see that I was never as freaky as I thought, and oh how much time I wasted feeling self-conscious! Don’t put off the work of learning to love your body. Your body is a marvelous tool that can do marvelous things. Don’t ever let anyone cheapen that.

You are beautiful, you are strong, and you are going to get through all the awkward years and be ok.

You are going to be fine. Love yourself and those around you.