Choose Courage. Choose Kindness. Choose Yourself.

An Entry for WoLF’s Letters to Girls

By Dawn

Dear Girls,

If I could sit across from you today and tell you one thing about growing up, it would be this:

You do not have to have everything figured out.

You do not have to be the smartest person in the room. You do not have to be the prettiest, the loudest, the most popular, or the most confident.

But you do need to learn to believe in yourself.

I have spent much of my adult life owning a business in an industry that has traditionally been dominated by men. There have been plenty of times when I was the only woman in the room. I learned very quickly that if I wanted to be heard, I had to speak up.

And sometimes I had to speak up more than once.

Never assume that someone else knows more than you simply because they sound more confident. Ask questions. Learn everything you can. Know your craft. And when you know you are right, don't be afraid to say so.

You are allowed to take up space.

You are allowed to have an opinion.

You are allowed to say no.

You are allowed to change your mind.

And you are absolutely allowed to walk away from people, situations and opportunities that aren't right for you.

One of the biggest lessons I've learned is that being strong doesn't mean never being scared.

I've been scared plenty of times.

Being strong means being afraid and moving forward anyway.

Life will surprise you. There will be successes you never expected and disappointments you never saw coming. There will be times when you wonder, "Seriously? One more thing?"

Those moments will teach you something about yourself.

You'll discover that you're capable of handling much more than you thought you could.

But don't let strength make you hard.

Some of the strongest people I know are also the kindest.

Care about people. Care about animals. Help someone when you can. Stand up for the person who doesn't have a voice. Give your time to something bigger than yourself.

Just remember that being kind doesn't mean allowing people to take advantage of you.

There is a difference between kindness and being a doormat.

Learn it early.

I also hope you learn not to spend too much of your life worrying about what other people think about you.

Someone will always think you're too loud, too ambitious, too opinionated, too emotional, too independent, too much of something.

Let them.

You weren't put on this earth to become a smaller version of yourself so someone else can feel comfortable.

Work hard. Be curious. Admit when you're wrong. Apologize when you need to. Laugh at yourself. Surround yourself with people who make you better.

And when you fail—and you will—don't let failure convince you that you are a failure.

Get up.

Learn something.

Try again.

I'm older now, and when I look back over my life, I don't think the moments that mattered most were the ones when everything went perfectly.

They were the moments when I had to decide who I was going to be.

So when that moment comes for you, choose courage.

Choose kindness.

Choose yourself.

And don't wait for someone to give you permission to become the woman you want to be.

You already have it.

With love and encouragement,

Dawn