“I want everyone to be happy and be well, but I do not want to be part of a system that hurts the bodies of children.”

I am a teacher. I work on line and only text my students while they work, One of my students is a wonderful girl with an amazing talent for maths. My student identifies as male, though their texts to me are obviously female. I have real trouble identifying this student as male and I worry that once the covid crisis is over, they may take steps to change themselves irreparably, denying themselves the chance to have a child who inherits their wonderful brain and personality and denying themselves the chance of finding the right partner who will make their journey through life a joy rather than the nightmare I envisage and fear. I cannot say anything to this student without losing my job.

I am a mother and a teacher and my job is to protect children. I am very concerned about the increased American trend of medicalized treatment of children who express same sex attraction or are non gender conforming. I worry about the way our society seems to think that invasive procedures and hormones on minors seems to be a one stop solution with little regard for long term effects. This is not a view I can share openly without vitriol and even potential job loss. I must censor myself while everyone one else repeats lines like "they are stuck in the wrong body, and it's their choice."

I also wish to ask- how can a child make such a choice? And in turn, how do we make free choices as second class citizens as women, BIPOC, and gay and non binary people in a patriarchal society that prizes and privileges the male heterosexual body more than any other member? How can we separate this medicalization from the commodification and hurting of the bodies of the oppressed? I ask -are their bodies and futures disposable? Why are they broken? Why cannot we exist somewhere in between without such extreme measures?

But I cannot say these things out loud. I am afraid. How will I care for my family if I lose my job? Why am I afraid? I have noticed that when women express similar opinions about protecting our vulnerable gay and non binary children, our views as mothers are being silenced and erased. Mothers are losing their power to protect the bodies and the medical futures of their children.

I fear we will have a generation of non binary, gay, lesbian and bisexual children who are dependent on doctors and medicine for the rest of their lives, who will have mutilating surgeries on their healthy bodies, who will be rendered infertile, and who will not have functioning sexual organs and as such will be robbed of the beauty of adult sexual experience when they grow up -whatever form this takes.

Why is there no room for mothers' voices and concerns? Why can we not be part of this dialogue? In this world, I have to censor my beliefs and my concerns if I want to keep my job and not be accused of being homophobe and anti-trans person. I want everyone to be happy and be well, but I do not want to be part of a system that hurts the bodies of children.